We can attract all kinds of people, especially when we are working on ourselves. Everyone is attracted to light, but not everyone comes with pure intentions.
There are those who come forward because they want to feed on our light – our strengths, our goodness. They may appear trustworthy and balanced but underneath they only come to fill their selfish needs. Some are aware of it, some are not, some deny it. They do this because they don’t think they’re able to meet their own needs. They don’t see themselves as strong, abundant, and generally capable of manifesting what they want. They live in perpetual internal conflict – they have deeply low self-esteem (although it’s not obvious to many) which is a result of deep self-loathing. It could stem from a dysfunctional childhood or a traumatic experience (not necessarily in childhood) that they weren’t able to heal from. They are full of self-doubt, shame and guilt – and they tend to keep creating situations that would reaffirm how they perceive themselves. This leads them to a downward spiral.
“Energy vampires” come in many forms. They can come as a person we’ve only dated for a few weeks or months, a partner we’ve shared a home for decades, someone who’s been our friend for years, a family member, a boss, a colleague, a client. They can appear balanced, successful, attractive, happy. They seem to have genuine intentions with us. We are initially or sometimes happy around them. Eventually, what they do becomes “too much”. They become demanding and easily disappointed when we can’t meet them, they want to be around us all the time, they want us to agree with them all the time, they can become too affectionate or too sexual too fast, they are too nice, too attentive, needy, smothering, they play games with our mind and are deny it when we call them out.
Anyone in their light can be a “target” for these kinds of people. Basically, anyone who’s successful, attractive, abundant, happy, genuine, good-natured. However, empaths usually allow themselves to be preyed on, especially when they are caught off-guard. Empaths can see through people. We can see beyond the mask people put on. We feel their energy, we feel how and usually why they are hurting. We want to believe in their inherent goodness. When we happen to be in a tough place in our lives, when we are not taking care of ourselves enough, when we don’t have healthy boundaries we may find it difficult to draw the line with these people and hold our ground.
Appearances can be deceiving so we must pay close attention to energy. Energy doesn’t lie. Knowing our “default” energy will help us determine how a specific person affects us. We can tell if a person is healthy or not for us by how we feel around them (physically or just having them in our lives in general). People who are not good for our well-being will usually overwhelm us, rush us, make us act out of character, make us doubt ourselves, make us feel small, insecure, lonely or totally miserable.
Especially as empaths, we must be conscious of our energy. We must ensure that we are in touch with our emotions, that we meet our needs. We must also be careful with who gets close to us because we are extra sensitive to energies. We can easily pick up on someone else’s pain. When we are not grounded or experienced in interpreting energies we may find it difficult to identify which energy is ours and which isn’t. We can be easily manipulated.
At some point, we must realize that we can’t help these people if they don’t want to help themselves. Most of them are in a perpetual state of denial which makes it more difficult for them to heal. Instead of facing their truths, they choose to distract themselves with relationships and other pursuits.
A line must be drawn to keep these people either totally out of our lives or at a certain distance for the sake of our well-being. It could be tough to recover from an “energy vampire’s” influence, but it’s certainly not impossible. We only need to refocus our attention back to ourselves. We can also take it as an opportunity to know ourselves more, to be more familiar with our light, with our needs and what actually serves us.