To Connect is a Choice


Connection and disconnection exist in a spectrum. We can choose where we stand in them. As adults, we have the power to select the level of connection we want to share with another person. It’s up to us to decide how influential they become and how much effort we want to put in the relationship.

Relationships don’t “just happen”.

Connections are formed through a point of focus. Intentionally building relationships that complement our values and goals requires us to take a look at where we are focused on. The nature of our relationships and the kinds of people we are connected with can provide us with clues. Some relationships seem to fade out on their own, as others step up to take a bigger spot in our lives. Some are able to survive the changes necessary to keep the connection alive. Some take a sharp turn or hit a dead end just like that.

We may have gotten into relationships unconsciously in the past or we may have outgrown the reasons why we’ve gotten into them in the first place. As we form various kinds of connection we get to sharpen our ideas on how we want our relationships to be like. Changing our point of focus transforms our existing relationships and also aligns us with new ones that are more compatible.

There’s no right or wrong choice – each option, regardless of the outcome, can lead us to a certain kind of awakening. Any choice has the power to propel us into another level of growth.

Utilizing our power to choose, though, shapes our experience. We can choose whether we want to travel light or crawl in the mud – or pick something else in between or something entirely different.

Some relationships feel fated, mainly because we’re not aware of why we’re attracting them. We’re simply not aware of our point of focus and what we are a match with. These connections make the hidden, more apparent. As adults, we are not “meant to” enter or stay in any kind of relationship. It’s always up to us to decide.

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