When we are having imbalances with our personal power – for instance, when we are too dependent on another person or when we want to be in control all the time, both due to feelings of insecurity, we are blocking the guidance that comes from the purity of our hearts.
We get enmeshed with our environment (other people and external situations) to the point that we lose ourselves. We get sidetracked from our truths. We forget what we truly desire. We lose track of our growth, how much we’re changing and in what ways. We neglect our needs. We push ourselves to take more than what we can chew. We say “yes”, when we mean “no”. We feel overwhelmed, we burn out, we internally “shut down”. Then we wonder why we’re so lonely. This usually causes a rift in our relationships, our performance at school or work suffers, we go through one financial or health issue to another. We find ourselves stuck in a hole that we couldn’t get out of. We couldn’t even understand how we got there.
It’s important to know what is ours and who we are so we can set our boundaries on what isn’t ours and who we are not. Life can be both enticing and demanding. It can wear us out in no time if we are not grounded.
There is no shame in stopping mid-way to regroup before we proceed again. Regrouping regularly, as often as we think is necessary, is crucial in how we experience life and what we can accomplish during our time here. It’s all about getting in touch with our hearts – what is true for us, what we desire and what we need.
Regrouping will look different for each of us. It can mean scheduling specific “alone time hours” per day or per week, taking a break every few hours to walk in nature, play with pets or watch movies, meditating, working out in the gym or going for a run, processing thoughts and emotions through art or journaling, hanging out with childhood friends or visiting one’s hometown, going on a month-long spiritual retreat, traveling the world for an entire year, choosing to live alone, moving to a new city or country, leaving old relationships behind, choosing to be child-free or choosing to be single for a certain period of time or for good, choosing a different partner, choosing a different career path, choosing a different spiritual practice.
Sometimes when we get disconnected from our hearts, we may think that the real cause of our unhappiness is the situation we’re in, hence, we need to “fix” it or cut ties with it. We blame our partner, we hate our job, we curse our parents, we condemn the world, we pity ourselves for our life experiences. In truth, we might need to cut ties with certain relationships and situations if we want to be more authentic and happier. However, we couldn’t really get there from a place of powerlessness that has gotten us there in the first place.
Owning our power is the first step. It grants us with the capacity to experience our freedom again. It puts us in a place where we can look at ourselves and our situation with fresh eyes, to perceive what we couldn’t before or what we have chosen to ignore. It empowers us to make choices that honor our truths again.
Unless we put in the effort and unless we take the time to figure things out on our own we can’t be truly sure that our life is a result of the choices that we make. As a result, we can’t fully act on our desires as well.
If we don’t fully realize that we co-create our reality, how can we maximize our capacity to co-create a new one?
Like most of us in modern times, I’ve always struggled with giving myself permission to regroup. I, too, have internalized this capitalist voice that constantly pushes me to “Go! Don’t Stop!”. I’m still learning to appreciate its value. I hope that you give yourself more permission to regroup, too, as often as you need to, as long as you want to and in all the ways that feel right to you.